Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Why SDCC Is No Longer For Me...

Happy Preview Night Nerds.

Sorry I won't be there with you.

After my trip to Jackson, WY I returned home and immediately got to work prepping for my trip to SDCC 2017. I outfit planned, I had my Annual Instagram Photo Hunt ready, my new business cards {designed by Ocean Eyes} just arrived and during it all I felt like I was just doing my duty.
When Tuesday rolled around and I had a full day of work ahead of me before my flight to San Diego, I woke up feeling a deep sadness. I tried to work through it the entire day, but by the time I arrived home and Ocean Eyes had my luggage waiting for me by the door, I began to sob.

And I couldn't stop. 

I knew in my heart that I didn't want to go. I've never had such a gut feeling in my life. I reached out to my besties {Liz and Steph} and they told me to change my flight to the following day and come meet them at our weekly dinner date. 
The moment I arrived and saw them, I began to cry again and they said cancel the trip. 

My reasons for feeling this way are complicated and many. I've been working through them the last 24 hours.

1. My last SDCC in 2015 was rough. Both Liz and I were going through break ups and I could never wrap my head around being truly happy there. It was my ex-husband and I's thing. And I couldn't pick it up to and carry it on to be my own thing. He is too ingrained in it.

2. I left California to start a new life. My life. And it just doesn't feel like the right time to leave my new home, Colorado.

3. I just had just attended a wedding, Liz just got engaged and Steph is moving for a new job. I feel like I need a big change in my life as well and it's time to take some alone time to think on that.

4. SDCC is not a vacation. I've done it. Many times over and I'm happy to say that. Now I want to go places I haven't been. Sleep in comfy beds, in Instagram-able hotels and wake up when I want, to good coffee.

5. I truly believed that I need time to be alone and to take some time to think about what I want out of my future. My life has changed and with it my priorities. Where do I go now? I'm proud to say I can realize that and take some mental time for myself.
This is my truth. SDCC may still be a good place for you and I am so happy about that! I'm happy to read your Twitter feeds, to see your Instagrams, but I'm happy to do it from the comfort of the Amigo Motor Lodge, alone and with my thoughts. What does this mean for The Nerdy Girlie? We'll its always changed and evolved. I'm excited to see where it goes next.

Thank you all for your continued support through this thing we call life. I love you all and will cherish the SDCC memories we have shared together. 

"No power in the 'verse can stop me."

19 comments:

  1. *hugs* It's more important to do things that actually make you happy than to do something because you feel you have to! It's great that you have supportive friends who help you figure it out along the way as well!

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  2. This makes me feel sad. Not sad that you are evolving, but a nostalgic kind of sad that things have to change at all. But change is necessary, and change is good. Sorry I never got to meet you, but remain a fan, and hope that the changes in your life continue to be good. ❤

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  3. I love your openness and honesty in your posts!

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  4. I'm sorry this caused you so much distress over the past few days. You have been and continue to be so inspiring, sharing the changes you've experienced over the past few years and finding joy in your new adventures. I'm so happy we got to meet at the Geeks Go Glam party and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your photography and your new adventures! 💖 Katie

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  5. I am actually on the same page as you... This is the first time in 5 years I will not be at SDCC but last year was too much for me... it took so much out of me I spent months evaluating my life and came out the other side a better person. So just know your not alone!

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  6. Galaxy GirlsJuly 19, 2017

    Thank you for your honesty with us and yourself, Megan. We will miss you at SDCC, but are excited to see what happens next!

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  7. Thank you so much @Sarah! I love doing it! It helps the healing. xx

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  8. Awww @Mallory @ bad.wolf.brunch thank you and I'm so glad that we can reflect honestly on our life and make changes that are right for us! xx

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  9. Thank you so much @Galaxy Girls. I defiantly miss my friends but am excited for the future! xx

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  10. Things change and people change and that's absolutely fine, you just have to do what's right for you. Taking a time out just for yourself is a good thing to do in fact that's what I'm doing right now as lately I've just been so overwhelmed I haven't had any time to just sit and process my thoughts. Good luck with everything and take care of yourself xoxo

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  11. @❤Cate❤ good for you! It is tough, but so worth it! Enjoy your time as well! Thank you! xx

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  12. Christy ChanJuly 20, 2017

    No journey is only tied to one place, even the most beautiful moment will come to an end. We all learn to embrace the good times we had and look forward to new challenges ahead in the future. Good luck!

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  13. Good for you for recognizing that this is something that no longer fits with who you are! That can be a hard thing to come to terms with. But I think it makes perfect sense that as you grow and change, so do the activities you want to do. Enjoy your time for YOU! :)

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  14. Thank you @chris@Christy Chan your words are beautiful! xx

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  15. Thank you so much @Kay! Growing is hard, but I'm happy to be able to recognize it now! xx

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  16. I love this post. And ya know what? Maybe one day you will want to go back. It's hard when you shared something with someone who's no longer part of your life. I've skipped SDCC a few times because like you said, there's so much more I want to see! *hugs*

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  17. I applaud you for doing what is best for you. Last year was my first year missing SDCC and I was sad to not be going but I also was 8 months pregnant during the con. This year, my husband asked if we wanted to try and go and I like you decided it was time to let it go. We are at a new stage of our lives now and are ready to try new things and see new places together (plus bringing a baby to SDCC would be hell on earth). It has been a great honor to get to know you at SDCC those past years and I will continue to follow and support you no matter what you choose to do next. We <3 you!

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  18. We understand, if you feel like looking for a new Convention, might I suggest Salt lake comicon ? it would be fun to hear that you'd come to test the waters and see the guest line up and panels. But there are also times whem one decides its time to hang back for awhile and just relax and do the "me" feng shui plan. Anyways, stay frosty would love to hear from you.

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  19. Love you and miss you babe!

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