Tuesday, February 16, 2016

30 Lessons Getting Me Through My 30s: Part 2


FINALLY I've gotten on with this. But you can't rush progress. I've come a LONG way since this time last year and now that my 33rd birthday is rolling around, I've finally learned a few more lessons to share with you all.

"Hello from the other siiiiiddeeeeee!!!!!"

16.  Do not buy wine from a dive bar. 

Of course you want to drink at a show! At least a bit anyways depending on the day...or not! No judgement! Beer yes! Shots...maybe?! Wine at a dive bar...NOPE! It is probably been open for weeks. It's the cheapest they can get and there are only two types. White and red. Just skip it. Blek. #NewWineSnob
17.  Do not try to find your soul mate on a Tinder. 

Tinder is dead easy. You can go out with a new person every day if you wanted to. Are you going to find the ONE? No. I thought I had. Then I thought is there even a ONE? I went on twenty Tinder dates last year. Only two of those did I feel a real connection with. I find that hopeful because connections are rare. I love love so much. I was searching. Did I find it? No. But true connections are real. I now believe you can connect with someone but is it forever? For me, maybe not. But that doesn't mean I have to think about that. I'm living in the now. And in my now I'm happy. If that moment passes you can look back and be proud that you let your self take a risk.

18.  Don't create your art hoping they will like it on Instagram

This one I just very recently began to follow. Not the creating, but the caring. I always create for me. Rarely it was for him. Now when his likes come up on my Insta, my heart isn't aching. It acknowledges and scrolls on. Time and distance has become a powerful thing.

19. Don’t keep asking when the answer is always no. 

This lesson has been the hardest for me to learn. "He's just not that into you." People men or women, who want to spend time with you, will. It took me finding those people to finally be able to let go of the one who didn't.
20.  Realize when you need a break and take it. 

I had my solo vacation and the entire month of December to test out Denver. Both of those breaks were scary choices, going somewhere alone for the first time, and quitting my job to figure out if Denver could be my new home, but both were needed. Both paid off. I was able to travel alone for the first time and enjoy it! I was able to find a new home and a place to start a new life. Leaps of faith always pay off in love and in LIFE!

21.  Don’t eat McDonalds before you go for a run…wait until after. 

This one should be self explanatory, but when I have a bad day instead of eating my feelings...I learned to love to running. Turning inward. Getting solitude. Giving my mind a chance to be quite. THEN afterwards if I still felt bad...I deserved that little treat! BUT I try to limit my McDonald's intact to once a month or less. Ugh I hate how good it is!

22.  Talk to that stranger next to you. 

What?! You are an adult, you are allowed to! Anytime I am at a coffee shop, I try to strike up a conversation with someone new. Anywhere really. I love talking to people. Making connections. It is probably the Pisces in me. It is also why I began this blog. Meeting strangers who enjoy the obsessions I do. Strangers that have become besties!
23.  Make time for your squad.

Everyone has busy schedules. That is this adult life. But friends are important. My ladies have helped me get to this point in my life. Without them by my side, pushing me, I'd still be unsure and not scared. They helped me become brave by supporting all of my choices. Some haven't been great, but every choice I've made has gotten me to this new place in life. Happy! Women need women. Go find our squad and hug them tight!
24. Adulting is fu*kin' hard. 

If I'm being completely honest, I've had a pretty easy life. I'm defiantly not complaining about that. Though it has made all my choices since the beginning of my divorce harder. BUT the good thing is that the more hard choices I've made...the easier they begin to get and the more self aware I've become of how I want MY life to go! 
I didn't realize how drained I was until yesterday on at the end of my first full week at my new job. I had an wonderful conversation with my Pisces Soul Sister. Catching her up made me realize how much I have on my plate and it is OK to feel the way you feel when you feel it! After we hung up I was a peace again.
25. Doing it alone is even harder. 

I've never had to be alone, I went from my family home to being a wife. When I chose to move on with my life alone and leave my husband, I was told it would be hard. I knew it would be. But then you live it daily and you just have to push through. If you don't do things, nothing gets done. It is all on you. Oh the pressure! Luckily I was eased into it by living with my Uncle in LA for seven months. So now....
26. I CAN do it and so can YOU! 

Looking back on the end of 2015, November I decided to leave my job in LA and in December I flew to Denver. I spent the month with my BFF, Liz and my family to see if Denver could be the place for me. When it came time to fly home to LA at the end of that month, I was till on the fence. Then I missed my flight. That was my sign to take a leap and move to Denver {part one and two}. I am so glad I accepted that challenge head on. I can finally say I'm proud of myself. I have an apartment, a job and a wonderful support system here in Denver. Taking chances has always paid off for me.
27. Fine you first.

Through 2015 I lived  the crazy dating life for the very first time. I got it out of my system and by the end of November, I was finally read to focus on me. Those last weeks of 2015 were eye opening. I spent a lot of girl time and wrote a lot {my therapy!}. Upon landing in Denver,  I hopped aboard the Mighteor train and I adored it. As soon as I saw my BFF Liz's life, I knew Denver could be my home. I saw the single life. I saw the girl boss life. I loved it. I was ready and willing. Completely focused.

28. Then they will find you.

Only four days after arriving in Denver no less.

29. You might not be ready then.

For the first time in eight months, I wasn't ready. I didn't leave my job and home of LA to find someone. I wanted to find myself. For real this time. I pushed him away. I was distant. I have a lot of emotional baggage that can be a lot to handle. But he stood firm. 
30. Always keep your heart open. And happiness will find its way in.

So I let myself be open to the idea. Opening my heart a tiny crack. I wasn't in a rush, I'm still not. But I do finally have my sh*t together. Which was a condition of me wanting to begin a relationship {Apartment, three jobs and finally settled in my new life}. 

It's been a year since I decided to make my decision to leave my husband. In that year I was desperate, needy, searching, and lonely. When December hit, I made the decision to not be those things anymore. I shut off my emotions. I wasn't myself anymore, to an extent. I'd become less emotional and more focused than I'd ever been. Though I did cry more, only because of all the change. I lost my emotions for a little bit. I was so tired of doing all of the work in romantic relationships. Now that has all changed and I feel like that is another blog post all together. You deserve to hear it and it deserves a dedicated post. It's that magical. 
Thank you nerds for sticking with me when I haven't updated the blog much. While I've gotten settled in this new life. For the comments, for the texts, the calls and emails. For just staying in touch. For taking time out of your day to think of me. It means the world and its getting me through. I hope that by sharing my life with you, you can see that the struggles we all face, no matter how large or small are worth it in the end! Our nerd community is a strong one. Thank you for always lifting each other up. That is why I began blogging in the first place. We are nerd strong!

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17 comments:

  1. YAAASS for talking to strangers! And you're totally right about the wine at dive bars, ick.

    meghansara.com

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  2. Adulting IS hard. I'm still not sure I have the hang of it but I'm trying.

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  3. Danielle KnappFebruary 16, 2016

    Just fabulous - so glad you're finding yourself and on this awesome journey :)

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  4. I ALWAYS have the wine issue. That's pretty much all I drink and at dive bars the white is always chardonnay which is my least favorite! It sounds like you've already found your element in Denver and I am so happy for you!!

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  5. I agree adulting is hard, but you are killing it! :D I'm so glad you're loving it in Denver, and making choices for YOU. And I love that you're sharing the journey along the way. It really is inspirational, and I wish you nothing but the best Megan!

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  6. Pisces twins! And my tip for #16 is that if you do order the wine, drink fast enough that you don't taste it. ;p And yeah, adulting is tough, but everyone is struggling, no matter how put together they seem. I find a lot of comfort it that.

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  7. LOL love that Markio! I love that advice. We all have our own struggles. Thank you for sharing! xx

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  8. Kay you are the best thank you so much for you words! Means so much! xx

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  9. Thank you so much Danielle! xx

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  10. WE got this girl!! Thanks B! xx

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  11. 17,20,21,24 we have in common. 20 is very important to me. Helps me at peace and know more about me when I travel solo. Did two weeks in Europe by myself last April and it was the best lesson for me.

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  12. Awesome piece!! #18 is my constant struggle, but I think hearing the same issue from someone else really helped me open up my eyes a bit. Best of luck!!

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  13. Aw thank you so much! That one I thought was really specific so I'm am so happy to know that you related to it! Good luck girlie!! xx

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  14. Wow that is so great to hear Julio! Thank you for sharing. I defiantly want to go on another solo vacation this year.

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  15. As always, I love and appreciate your openness and honesty. Adulting *is* hard, and so is change and opening yourself up. I'm still working on all those things and hope to take the kinds of brave actions you have sooner rather than later. Denver sounds like it's treating you well! xo

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  16. You are amazing babe. I am so happy to call you friend. Thank you and I look forward to seeing you at SDCC! xx

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