Monday, August 24, 2015

30 Lessons Getting Me Through My 30s: Part One


Ever since I began sharing my Figuring Out My Place In Time And Space posts with you all, I can't help but want to share EVERYTHING! I am enjoying being open and honest with what is going on in my head, my heart and my life!

The moment I turned 30, it felt like a switch had been kicked on inside of me. I finally understood my place in the world and what I wanted to do in it. Now I am 32 1/2. I've come a long way, I've learned a LOT...more in these past four months than I ever thought I could. Here is part one of what is getting me through each minute, day and week.
1. Being comfortable isn’t always comfortable. This was probably my most difficult lesson to learn. Being in a relationship for fourteen years, you get comfortable. Once I realized, that I wasn’t being pushed or expanding as a human being I knew it was time for a change. It was the most difficult thing that I ever did, but I’ve never looked back and I’m happier for it.

2. Playing it safe never gets anything done. Like number one I was safe for a long time. I never thought to disrupt my life waters, but when I did, I finally discovered what I was really made of and it was what I always wanted myself to be made of. Safeness never helped me grow and never pushed me to become ME.
3. Don’t be afraid of being alone. I am a lover. I love love, so being single is scary. I had always gone places alone, done things alone. I like being alone for the most part. But I love having a person to love and to come home to. This new solo journey has been eye opening and I’m telling myself everyday that being alone is ok. And when it is time to not be alone anymore, I’ll be ready for it.

4. You can do stuff by yourself. Throughout my 20s I never wanted to do anything alone. Now I do a majority of things alone and it’s not just because I’m single. If I really want to do something and no one else does, why should I miss out?! 
5.  Having a positive attitude always works in your favor. This just reconfirmed itself today during a job interview the other day. The company I interviewed with is all about being positive. They noticed that HERE on my site that I am always positive. That made me feel amazing, because that is what I strive for everyday! The past couple months I’ve been working really hard on being positive daily and so far great things are beginning to happen.

6.  People will turn out for you when you need them most. Ever since I began my Figuring Out My Place In Time And Space series I’ve felt a new connection with my readers. Letting myself be vulnerable and honest has helped me as a writer and a creator. I want to share with you all what is happening in my life. It helps me and I can see that it is actually helping others as well!

7.  Don’t worry what other people think of you.This one still gets me every so often. It was my reason for not leaving my Ex earlier, why I was hesitant on dating again, even though I felt ready and why it took me so long to truly open up with my writing. You only have one life and you are living it no one else. Do what makes sense to you and your heart.
8.  Indulge once in a while. When I say this it, for me is with food and dates. In the beginning I wanted to date all the guys and eat all the wrong types of food. Four months later, and I’ve realized what too much is. I’ve slowed down on the dating considerably taking time to focus on my brand and see what I want out of my future and what I want to accomplish in my life.

The same with food. One of my hardest realities has been that it is really hard to feed just yourself. I can eat whatever I want whenever I want. It’s so easy to stop at McDonald’s on the way home, instead of making a meal. Desserts are prepackaged and I can take them to bed and they are a great comfort. Let me have ONE thing! LOL  
Crying in the bathroom is ok...for a minute!
9.  Let your self feel what you need to feel. I’ve always done this and I think I’m actually quite good at it. If I need to cry I do. If I think that I do but I really don't…it’s kinda confusing, but empowering. That is when I really feel the strongest and feel like I’ve grown the most.

10.  It’s ok to let people help you. People have helped me my entire life. When I began this solo journey, I didn’t want any help. But then I didn’t have a place to stay. My uncle took me in and has become a great counselor. I have really amazing friends who talk sense into me everyday and tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear!

11.  Becoming a mentor is super rewarding. Four months ago, I thought I would never be the same again. Flash forward and I’m helping women who are going through the same things. I can show them that it won’t always be like it is in the beginning. Things get better and I’m living proof of that.

12.  Don’t try to do everything. I learned this the hard way. I was going through all of my newly singleness and trying to take on too much work. Emotional hardship and a full plate was too much to handle. Once I realized that, I let a few things go until I cooled down. Now I have reevaluated my time and am ready to get moving forward. 
13.  Learn to love yourself. I am still working daily on this one. We all have our bad days, but try to remember you are amazing {Let's say it together! “I am amazing, smart and beautiful!”}.

14. Be honest with people. I never felt comfortable expressing my feelings to people. Until I started dating. I’ve been on a TON of first dates. If I’m not feeling it, I don’t see wasting either of each other’s time. I’ve found that if you are honest with people about that you can depart on good terms and even maybe make a friend in the process. 

15. Be honest with yourself. Another one I work hard at daily. I say that I am honest with myself, but in the back of my mind, there is the doubt. Waiting behind a closed door. I know it is there, I know it is waiting. But I keep the door locked and the key hidden as best I can.

Everyone has been so supportive and kind with their comments, emails and tweets. So I want to keep being vulnerable and pushing myself to share things that you all can connect with. Because I began this blog to connect with nerds and NOW I finally feel like I am making a TRUE and deep connection with you all. Thank you so much for reading!


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27 comments:

  1. As a fan of your blog (albeit recently), I have to say this is probably my favorite post. I know several people that need this post shouted to them with a bullhorn at point blank range. Some very, VERY good points. I'm a few squares ahead of you in the age department, and I can say from experience (even from the boy's side), the lessons you have laid out are invaluable!!!!

    It was Harvard professor Laurel Thatcher Ulrich who is credited with coining the phrase "Well behaved women seldom make history". If well-behaved means sitting at home waiting for someone else to live your life for you, by all means necessary, misbehave! And do it often!!

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  2. Thanks for this post and for sharing your journey with us. It's comforting and inspiring to see how you are changing and growing. It pushes me to be a little braver myself. xo

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  3. I love this post and that you're sharing your journey with us! I think being safe is probably something we're all guilty of doing/being. I've tried to be a little more "out there" and it doesn't always work but you never know unless you try!

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  4. Thank you B! Exactly! Try and try again! xx

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  5. Thanks Alice! Be brave girl you can do it! See you soon! xx

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  6. Thank you so much! I LOVE that quote so much! Let's get out there and aim to misbehave! xx

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  7. These are perfect! I love these open and honest blog posts I think that's what blogging is all about xoxo

    Cateaclysmic

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  8. This post is so great. I've loved getting to hear more about you and your personal journey. It's so encouraging, and really motivating for me to live dangerously and chase after what makes me happy.

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  9. melificentAugust 24, 2015

    Megan: you are awesome. I love the way you are seeking the positive b/c it is so easy to go in the other direction. You are absolutely right: we only get one life, so we should live it! I wish I lived closer so we could go on some girl dates. <3

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  10. Meli I wish you lived closer too! Thank you for your love and friendship! xx

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  11. Thank you Kendall! Don't worry be happy! xx

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  12. I love these, number 4 especially! I've missed so much in the past because I didn't want to do it alone, once you let go of that it feels awesome :)

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  13. Wonderful post. I just came out of a situation where I went a little too far out of my comfort zone and when things finally hit the fan I sort of overcompensated by retreating from EVERYTHING. I'm finally at a place where I realized that I need to get back out there if I'm really going to be happy, so the first two point really resonate with me.

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  14. Liz TailorAugust 24, 2015

    I love everything about this post!!! It's beautiful to read and I feel the same way on so many points. I'm 32 and a half as well. And I so often feel bogged down by what that's supposed to mean instead of what it genuinely means for me. Thank you for sharing this!!

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  15. This is such a wonderfully positive and inspiring post! Your last point, being honest with yourself, is SO important. I feel like sometimes it is ohs o easy to justify things you KNOW aren't right just to stay in that safe zone, and it is no way to live. I am just loving these posts from you, Megan - and right now it's wonderful to have a post like this to look at when I'm looking at some big and scary (but exciting!) changes in my own life.

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  16. Kay thank you! It is still a daily struggle to be honest with myself, but at least I know that I am trying my best and that is all we can ever do. Good luck with all of YOUR big & scary things! We got this! xx

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  17. Liz! GO 32 1/2 year olds! Thank you so much for the kind words. It is hard to realize that age is just a number. We can't all be where we are "suppose" to be. But my suppose to be is what is right for me and you yours! xx

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  18. Mariko thank you! I hope that you are feeling better! Stay happy and positive and you can do this too! Good luck! xx

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  19. Katya, going alone isn't scary anymore...now the scary thing is seeing couples who are having a great time together! LOL xx

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  20. syllykay .August 25, 2015

    Megan - thank you for being so honest with us and yourself. You are on you way to a great adventures and future - I can feel it in your blogs and your IG photos - you deserve all the good things that are going to come your way!! Make the most of it - have the best time! Love you - Syl

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  21. Really reading your post and comments, I realize that there are many people with my feelings of loneliness. Soon we are not alone. His words were conrtantes me, for the moment I'm living now! Will be all right!

    xoxo

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  22. Thanks babe! Really appreciate your sweet words! WE can do it! xx

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  23. Thank you Syl and thank you for always being there for me! xx

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  24. So amazing and true! I have come to terms with being 32 as well, I can't believe it some days. I'm just finally becoming comfortable in my own skin. I am also coming to terms with who I am as a person, a mother and a wife.


    And you are right we only have one life to live so we need to make the most of it. We need to love ourselves, that way we can be compassionate and caring to others.

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  25. Thanks for being so honest and vulnerable here!!

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  26. Thank you Meghan! I am definitely feeling you on the 30s are best! xx

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  27. Thank you Dina! It is hard, but when you finally find yourself...it's a bit easier! xx

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